If you’re not first, you’re last

I love Will Ferrell movies. I can quote most of them frontwards and backwards. They are absolutely hilarious and not sure I’ve ever seen one I didn’t love. Today… I kinda felt like Ricky Bobby.

I had my workout all planned out today, however, when I saw the programmed workout for the box, I thought, “hey, I can do this!” Sheesh. At some point I’m going to realize that I’ve taken a month off and all this stuff that used to be super easy for me is now super hard. However, I’m apparently not at that point yet. So today’s programming looked like this:

Strength/Skill: 

  • 4×4 deadlifts at 60-80% 
  • 10 min of accumulating wall sits

WOD

40-30-20-10

  • Wall balls (20/14)
  • Push-ups

I know what you’re thinking. How can she do any of that? Well, let me tell you I have done a lot of research… A LOT. I’ve gotten pretty good at finding ways to modify a lot of crossfit movements and make it work for me. I also substitute work that I can do for work that I can’t.

I knew I couldn’t do wall sits so I traded them out for an EMOM of hanging L-sits on the rings. I can’t do deadlifts, but I can do single-legged deadlifts with my foot propped up on a bench. Wall balls, my favorite, (no… I’m not joking) I have to do either kneeling on my knees or seated on a bench. Since we don’t have gymnastics mats, I chose to use the bench today and do seated wall balls. Push-ups… easy. I just put my casted foot on top of my left foot and do push-ups. It’s possible to make the programming work.


What I wasn’t expecting was how exhausting it would be for me. Normally, this WOD would have been a piece of cake. Yesterday was my first day to get back in the box and really train. I did weighted push-ups, DB snatches, and a lot of strict work on the pull-up bar and rings. After a month off, my everything was sore! However, in my mind, I am still the same crossfitter I was a month ago. In reality… not even close.

When we think of injury, we think of the physical injury itself. No, I can’t use my right foot for anything because I’m nonweight-bearing. It doesn’t cause me any pain other than a super uncomfortable cast, but that’s what we see… the physical part. I’m telling you now, it’s not even in comparison to the emotional and psychological aspect of an injury. It does more to us I think than the physical limitations.

Feeling tired from 45 pound deadlifts is a punch in the gut when you’re max is 300. Being the last one to finish when you are usually the first is a shot to the ego. The funny part is that I thought it would bother me more than it did. Truth is, it didn’t bother me at all. Honestly, when I finished today, I felt good. It was an opportunity to feel the high of competition again… the reason I truly love crossfit. Beating a time, a goal, a number of reps… 


At the same time… I was exhausted! My leg and arms were shaking when I finished. Mentally, I thought this would be easy. Emotionally, I was frustrated, yet proud. Physically… tired. Yep, I finished last. But I finished. I worked out 5-6 days a week prior to injury. Right now, I think 3-4 days is going be my limit until I build my stamina back up. 

It isn’t just crossfit… it’s all aspects of life. You think you can do something because you take for granted how easy it was, but reality quickly knocks you on your butt (sometimes literally) and you have to take a step back to realize you aren’t that same person right now. 

Jimmy is super excited about going to Keeneland. I love Keeneland. It’s my favorite thing to do in the spring and fall. I immediately said yes… but then reality started setting in… long distance walking, standing, crowds to push through… yeah. Then I got sad because I miss getting to do all the fun things with my family. Here’s where I get to modify in life! Called the ortho and got a temporary handicapped parking pass. ✔️ Bringing my scooter for getting around easily. ✔️ Taking a chair where I will sit and watch the horses while letting everyone else fetch me bets and beer. ✔️ Problem solved. 

So that quote from Talledaega Nights, “If you’re not first you’re last…” yeah. That’s garbage. You have to admit you can’t do it all when you’re injured. You’re not the same person. You can’t do the same things the way you used to… but you CAN do them! You might do them slower. You might do less. You might struggle. But there is strength in the struggle. That’s my mantra. When things feel rough, when it’s hard, when you want to bail out… remember these are the times you grow the most. 

Opinions are like buttholes… 

Errrybody’s got one. Lol. And to be honest, I could care less. Since I’ve been injured, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, oh, I guess you’re not going to be crossfitting anymore then, huh? Um… of course I am. In fact, I plan on hitting up the box as soon as I feel comfortable about it… with my cast or boot on. 

⚠️ Warning: if easily offended, you may not want to read on… 

Go ahead, call me crazy. Maybe I am. But I’m okay with that… seriously, I am and learned a long time ago not to stress over what others think about me. There are millions of other people that workout and participate in sports and exercising while injured. But aren’t you afraid of getting hurt? What can you possibly do if you can’t stand on your leg? What if you fall? 


First of all… you can’t live your life scared. If you are active in sports, running, lifting, aerobics, crossfit, you name it, your risk of injury is more than maybe the average person. But let’s look at the other side of this. What if you aren’t active, don’t exercise, and don’t live a healthy lifestyle? You are risking obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, the list goes on and on. So how is that any better?
Let’s get back to crossfitting while injured. It’s not like I’m going to walk in the box and start doing one legged burpees and box jumps. While some people are that crazy, I am not one of them. In fact, I now have a good excuse for getting out of burpees! However, my ortho has told me I can train anything as long as I follow restrictions for my right foot. So instead of power cleans, I can do light weight cleans from the knees. Instead of jerks, I can do strict presses on a box or prop my foot up on a bench and do one-legged push presses. Instead of burpees, I can do one legged push ups. Instead of wall balls, I can do them seated. Instead of running, I can row with one leg… you get the idea. One of the advantages of crossfit is everything can be adapted or modified. 

Crazy… sure, I guess, but I prefer healthy. This injury is not going to get the best of me. I refuse to let it. Working out is a passion for me. It has been since I was 15 years old. I love to see how strong I can be. It is my stress release and the one hour of the day I have to myself. Instead of sitting home and being upset or feeling sorry for myself, I choose to workout so I feel better. Can I do what I was doing? No. Do I plan on pushing myself to extremes? No. Am I going to be lifting heavy like I was? No. I just want to stay physically fit and have that outlet that makes me happy while also trying to recover. 

I plan on doing everything I am told to do during this process by my doctor and PT. I want to heal and I want to rehab quickly. I will not be the one to try and rush things. I don’t want to risk a rerupture or anything that could slow down this process. I want to eventally get back to where I was when I got injured and continue to grow and compete. In order to do that, I’ll do what I’m told no matter how much I may not want to! I just want to be healthy again. 

So here’s the deal… I hope in this process I can be a motivation and inspiration to someone else that’s fighting an injury or just needing a pick me up. I hope that I can keep my own sanity through all of this. And I hope that by blogging all this, I can look back at this journey and see the positive that came from it. 

So call me crazy. Have your own opinions. It’s okay. We are all mad here.