Don’t blink.

Seriously, don’t do it. You’ll miss everything. I remember when I was little and I would hear adults talk about how time flies and it would be Christmas before you know it! I also remember thinking they were crazy because it felt like forever. 

Now, I’m 36 with three kids and I get it. I understand what they meant. Time does fly and you can’t blink because before you know it, 15 years have gone by and your oldest child is going to prom. 

I never cared when my kids went to kindergarten. Frankly, I wanted to punch all the moms that cried when they dropped their kids off. Sorry, if you were one of them, but while you were crying, I was in the corner doing a happy dance cause I just made an extra $500 a month not having to pay for childcare! 

Where does time go?

Yeah, I’m that mom. When they went to middle school… no big deal. I actually enjoy watching every single stage of their personalities as they become older. It wasn’t until this year that my emotional side kicked in. Freshman. High school. Varsity. ACT. Prom. 

Those are scary words to me. Not because I worry about him. He’s a super, awesome kid. I’m sure he’ll make mistakes along the way. God knows I did. More than I’d like to count. It’s none of that though that causes me to get emotional. It’s the word, four

Why, four? That’s how many years I had left at the beginning of his freshman year. So this weekend, when I helped him get his tux on for prom, a series of thoughts and floods of emotions ran through my head. I was standing there helping him put on his tux and I realized, it wasn’t the word four that scared me now… it was three. His freshman year has almost come to an end. And here I was, helping him get ready for his first prom. 

In less than a year, I’ll be teaching him how to drive. We’ve already started that process some and you want to talk about scary! I may have crapped my pants when he asked me which pedal was the gas and which was the brake. 

Three years. Where did the last fifteen go? We had him young. I was 21 and my hisband 22. We were both still in college and he was the last thing we planned on. However, he was the best thing that ever happened to both of us. But here we were… fifteen years later… and all I could think about was the number three. 

I can’t imagine our house without him. I don’t want to! I think about every single memory and gosh, there are so many good ones. And boy, do I feel for my friends that are graduating their fist child this year. Why does time have to go by so fast? 

It was later Saturday night as he was at prom that I looked at this picture of me putting on his boutoneer. I kept thinking as I looked at this picture, someday, I would be doing this again before he marries the love of his life. I don’t EVEN want to imagine that. I always jokingly told my boys they didn’t ever need a girlfriend because they were drama and all they needed was me. I’m like the mama on Waterboy… “mama said girls are the devil.”

It’s just all too much. So why write all this? Here’s my piece of advice to you young mamas. Don’t blink. Don’t take one minute or one second for granted because you don’t get this precious time back. You don’t get do overs. You don’t have a time machine. We sacrifice so much for our kids. The amount of time and money I’ve spent on my kids is probably astounding. However, when they are gone… I’ll have all the time in the world. Time that I’ll probably wish I still had with them at home. I want to make sure that in the next three years, when he takes off for college, he knows how much I loved him and how lucky I am to be his mom. 

Photo by Christy Lee Photography

If you’re not first, you’re last

I love Will Ferrell movies. I can quote most of them frontwards and backwards. They are absolutely hilarious and not sure I’ve ever seen one I didn’t love. Today… I kinda felt like Ricky Bobby.

I had my workout all planned out today, however, when I saw the programmed workout for the box, I thought, “hey, I can do this!” Sheesh. At some point I’m going to realize that I’ve taken a month off and all this stuff that used to be super easy for me is now super hard. However, I’m apparently not at that point yet. So today’s programming looked like this:

Strength/Skill: 

  • 4×4 deadlifts at 60-80% 
  • 10 min of accumulating wall sits

WOD

40-30-20-10

  • Wall balls (20/14)
  • Push-ups

I know what you’re thinking. How can she do any of that? Well, let me tell you I have done a lot of research… A LOT. I’ve gotten pretty good at finding ways to modify a lot of crossfit movements and make it work for me. I also substitute work that I can do for work that I can’t.

I knew I couldn’t do wall sits so I traded them out for an EMOM of hanging L-sits on the rings. I can’t do deadlifts, but I can do single-legged deadlifts with my foot propped up on a bench. Wall balls, my favorite, (no… I’m not joking) I have to do either kneeling on my knees or seated on a bench. Since we don’t have gymnastics mats, I chose to use the bench today and do seated wall balls. Push-ups… easy. I just put my casted foot on top of my left foot and do push-ups. It’s possible to make the programming work.


What I wasn’t expecting was how exhausting it would be for me. Normally, this WOD would have been a piece of cake. Yesterday was my first day to get back in the box and really train. I did weighted push-ups, DB snatches, and a lot of strict work on the pull-up bar and rings. After a month off, my everything was sore! However, in my mind, I am still the same crossfitter I was a month ago. In reality… not even close.

When we think of injury, we think of the physical injury itself. No, I can’t use my right foot for anything because I’m nonweight-bearing. It doesn’t cause me any pain other than a super uncomfortable cast, but that’s what we see… the physical part. I’m telling you now, it’s not even in comparison to the emotional and psychological aspect of an injury. It does more to us I think than the physical limitations.

Feeling tired from 45 pound deadlifts is a punch in the gut when you’re max is 300. Being the last one to finish when you are usually the first is a shot to the ego. The funny part is that I thought it would bother me more than it did. Truth is, it didn’t bother me at all. Honestly, when I finished today, I felt good. It was an opportunity to feel the high of competition again… the reason I truly love crossfit. Beating a time, a goal, a number of reps… 


At the same time… I was exhausted! My leg and arms were shaking when I finished. Mentally, I thought this would be easy. Emotionally, I was frustrated, yet proud. Physically… tired. Yep, I finished last. But I finished. I worked out 5-6 days a week prior to injury. Right now, I think 3-4 days is going be my limit until I build my stamina back up. 

It isn’t just crossfit… it’s all aspects of life. You think you can do something because you take for granted how easy it was, but reality quickly knocks you on your butt (sometimes literally) and you have to take a step back to realize you aren’t that same person right now. 

Jimmy is super excited about going to Keeneland. I love Keeneland. It’s my favorite thing to do in the spring and fall. I immediately said yes… but then reality started setting in… long distance walking, standing, crowds to push through… yeah. Then I got sad because I miss getting to do all the fun things with my family. Here’s where I get to modify in life! Called the ortho and got a temporary handicapped parking pass. ✔️ Bringing my scooter for getting around easily. ✔️ Taking a chair where I will sit and watch the horses while letting everyone else fetch me bets and beer. ✔️ Problem solved. 

So that quote from Talledaega Nights, “If you’re not first you’re last…” yeah. That’s garbage. You have to admit you can’t do it all when you’re injured. You’re not the same person. You can’t do the same things the way you used to… but you CAN do them! You might do them slower. You might do less. You might struggle. But there is strength in the struggle. That’s my mantra. When things feel rough, when it’s hard, when you want to bail out… remember these are the times you grow the most.